CLOUDY SKIES,. - 52 -
It was as dark as a dreamless night
I beheld no stars in sight
There were simple no wishes or dreams are born
in a darkness so forlorn.
Each old and adamant desire
Beneath the blackness did expire
Like their corresponding star
As fading as a wound without a scar.
Wishes and dreams a memory away
Extinguished and gone and can't convey
This emptiness within the skies
With torpid light that only lies.
Shadows of stars hang above
Like the remnants of glories love
I look up, but see no light
No tiny gems of glittering white.
How long ago did desire die?
When did all heart cease do try?
To wish, believe, and simple hope
How did our hearts learn to cope?
My nights known no end
and I know no way for my sight to mend
Only I see no stars by night
I am left to wonder if I ever might.
I beheld no stars in sight
There were simple no wishes or dreams are born
in a darkness so forlorn.
Each old and adamant desire
Beneath the blackness did expire
Like their corresponding star
As fading as a wound without a scar.
Wishes and dreams a memory away
Extinguished and gone and can't convey
This emptiness within the skies
With torpid light that only lies.
Shadows of stars hang above
Like the remnants of glories love
I look up, but see no light
No tiny gems of glittering white.
How long ago did desire die?
When did all heart cease do try?
To wish, believe, and simple hope
How did our hearts learn to cope?
My nights known no end
and I know no way for my sight to mend
Only I see no stars by night
I am left to wonder if I ever might.
Aftermath, during 2006
The battle seemed to be over, but not the war. Continuing certain discussions one day, which aggravated, unexpected outburst of Sassy and carried on for quite some time, not hours but weeks. Luck seems to slipping away without a good reason. At the same time, some members of my family involved themselves in these issues, which did not start diminishing the situation, but to degree magnified, including my condition, which approached a dangerous level, close to insanity. While this was going on for longer, than I anticipated, Cary got into the act after begging her for help and advice. My try to accomplish some kind of an armistice, failed without any real or close success. We lived, thru many years and many discussion of any kind, had some laughs, incomprehensible for me, because I had decided to shorten my live as fast as I found the courage to do it. There was no purpose to prolong the agony, why not coming to a peaceful understanding. Days past, my mental, spiritual, and physical health started to deter, and another coming of depression, which I tried to correct by joining for a while a Psychologist, which eventually enrolled me to Rehabilitation Course at Waukesha Hospital. At around the same time, October of 2006, Carry start talking to me in a way I never heard her before. All about God`s feelings and guiding in regard to my statement of doing this terrible act, which would not only take my life but also the possibility of loosing my
The battle seemed to be over, but not the war. Continuing certain discussions one day, which aggravated, unexpected outburst of Sassy and carried on for quite some time, not hours but weeks. Luck seems to slipping away without a good reason. At the same time, some members of my family involved themselves in these issues, which did not start diminishing the situation, but to degree magnified, including my condition, which approached a dangerous level, close to insanity. While this was going on for longer, than I anticipated, Cary got into the act after begging her for help and advice. My try to accomplish some kind of an armistice, failed without any real or close success. We lived, thru many years and many discussion of any kind, had some laughs, incomprehensible for me, because I had decided to shorten my live as fast as I found the courage to do it. There was no purpose to prolong the agony, why not coming to a peaceful understanding. Days past, my mental, spiritual, and physical health started to deter, and another coming of depression, which I tried to correct by joining for a while a Psychologist, which eventually enrolled me to Rehabilitation Course at Waukesha Hospital. At around the same time, October of 2006, Carry start talking to me in a way I never heard her before. All about God`s feelings and guiding in regard to my statement of doing this terrible act, which would not only take my life but also the possibility of loosing my
Waukesha, District Office, 2003/04
Started one of my most emotional and difficult Website with an appropriate Image and Poem, which I hope sets the stage and understanding the message I wanted and will relay. It might already guides you in the direction this page of the Website is going. Before starting with the contents I would clarify and make some statements, maybe not totally excepted by all readers, but have my assurance, there are not fictions or any other description in the same order, but only and nothing more or less, the Truth. Not necessary received by all who read this Website Pg. as the truth, even members of my Family doubt about my feelings placed on this page. There was a time when I hesitated to place this Pg., walking away from these days of despair; however what would it have done to the total truthfulness reporting my lives experiences, all of locked upon as imaginations of my mind. Therefore, here I am, will tell you not very detailed, and keep it simple for easier understanding. It all started in the Office about the year 2003/04, mentoring, and Training in the Local District Office and standing on a Podium ahead of the participants conversing and explaining appropriated training material, until I saw a young woman wiping her eyes and seem to cry strongly. They all sat on chairs behind long desk, nodding their head and writing down of the teaching Material. During recession made in inquires about her crying and heard that she has no motion about the subject taught but really would like to learn more to prepare herself for more interesting assignments. For the next session, we changed the setting, smaller Tables with four to five occupants eager to support each other, requested or needed. A Negative changed into Positive, as mentioned the possibility in one of our recent Website Page. The woman's pseudo name will be Sassy this event actual was the Salvo which started the sorrowful happenings over the next four year. During the next few years, she visited quite often my office area, and visa versa to gather more knowledge for doing her Job. With occasional serious questions, Sassy developed into a very good friend and I saw good potential in her for the Organization. Another young woman, whom I like to name Cary, was sitting very close to her, learned to know her some years prior to Sassy. Now all the players known and I feel very clammy to find the right way to tell the calamity; happened around that time, which nearly destroyed all I created in many hard and good times. I got that far and with His help, I am convinced the rest of my telling you the "Low" of my live should be possible. My feeling was so low at that time and I was confused, I believed, He even left me. The numbers of participants raised to actual four my Friend, which I seriously doubted, Sassy, and Cary. What for heaven sake, you my ask yourself, why does he not tell use Even after the event passed it make me feel saddened more about my own action than all the things attached , at my Day of Infamy. Yes, I was attacked not by bullets not by Airplanes', but by a Fore much stronger and sometimes much, more vital than a bullet, the words spoken by a vicious person, I was accused by a former coworkers of Inappropriate remarks to female employee.. After a few months, nobody came forward, to support such outrages accusations. The first to deny any this accusation happen to them was Sassy, and Cary and they believed it must have been an accusation for some vengeance or the act of a Madman. The case was dismissed I was honored ad; however to my dismay, it was not over yet..
Started one of my most emotional and difficult Website with an appropriate Image and Poem, which I hope sets the stage and understanding the message I wanted and will relay. It might already guides you in the direction this page of the Website is going. Before starting with the contents I would clarify and make some statements, maybe not totally excepted by all readers, but have my assurance, there are not fictions or any other description in the same order, but only and nothing more or less, the Truth. Not necessary received by all who read this Website Pg. as the truth, even members of my Family doubt about my feelings placed on this page. There was a time when I hesitated to place this Pg., walking away from these days of despair; however what would it have done to the total truthfulness reporting my lives experiences, all of locked upon as imaginations of my mind. Therefore, here I am, will tell you not very detailed, and keep it simple for easier understanding. It all started in the Office about the year 2003/04, mentoring, and Training in the Local District Office and standing on a Podium ahead of the participants conversing and explaining appropriated training material, until I saw a young woman wiping her eyes and seem to cry strongly. They all sat on chairs behind long desk, nodding their head and writing down of the teaching Material. During recession made in inquires about her crying and heard that she has no motion about the subject taught but really would like to learn more to prepare herself for more interesting assignments. For the next session, we changed the setting, smaller Tables with four to five occupants eager to support each other, requested or needed. A Negative changed into Positive, as mentioned the possibility in one of our recent Website Page. The woman's pseudo name will be Sassy this event actual was the Salvo which started the sorrowful happenings over the next four year. During the next few years, she visited quite often my office area, and visa versa to gather more knowledge for doing her Job. With occasional serious questions, Sassy developed into a very good friend and I saw good potential in her for the Organization. Another young woman, whom I like to name Cary, was sitting very close to her, learned to know her some years prior to Sassy. Now all the players known and I feel very clammy to find the right way to tell the calamity; happened around that time, which nearly destroyed all I created in many hard and good times. I got that far and with His help, I am convinced the rest of my telling you the "Low" of my live should be possible. My feeling was so low at that time and I was confused, I believed, He even left me. The numbers of participants raised to actual four my Friend, which I seriously doubted, Sassy, and Cary. What for heaven sake, you my ask yourself, why does he not tell use Even after the event passed it make me feel saddened more about my own action than all the things attached , at my Day of Infamy. Yes, I was attacked not by bullets not by Airplanes', but by a Fore much stronger and sometimes much, more vital than a bullet, the words spoken by a vicious person, I was accused by a former coworkers of Inappropriate remarks to female employee.. After a few months, nobody came forward, to support such outrages accusations. The first to deny any this accusation happen to them was Sassy, and Cary and they believed it must have been an accusation for some vengeance or the act of a Madman. The case was dismissed I was honored ad; however to my dismay, it was not over yet..
Dark Skies, - Monika Huynh
Salvation forever. We prayed in silence and asked my Friend to return, a remaining existing without Him was unthinkable and not desirable, than or any time.. It took a good while before I start thinking that it could be some kind of a sign or test orchestrated by Him and used Carry as His Herald and Carrier. When these enlightening thoughts anchored themselves in my mind I thanked both with all my heard first my Friend and God, who maybe never really left, Carry my closest earthly connection, who I called from that day on " My God send." This is not an Imagination of my mind, God has mysteries way to correspond with us, I completely believe his intervention, in its whole, happen of my behalf, and no one on this earth will, or can ever change my mind. Christmas is getting close and a somewhat clearer vision on things appreciated, I hope it will improve and might find the right gift for Birthday. This time only I ask permission from Santa Claus and go direct to the Master of all with asking for my Christmas present direct from the original source, hoping if my request granted. The attachment shown in the lower ends of the text, describes my wishes for most if not all the protection and guideline I need and for all my friends if I do not talk to you prior Christmas any more, I wish all of you, Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year for 2007.
Sincerely,
Alfredo De`Eljama.